PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise)

I worked a lot last week. I know that I am not supposed to stress my body. But at the same time, I took some time off in Sept when I was on the stimulation meds and I had to start working sometime. Work has been okay. Not much stress luckily. And maybe it is good to be busy because I am currently in the waiting stage. I am continuing with medications such as progestrone, folic acid, and prenatal vitamins, but nothing was really going on last week except for waiting for the big pregnancy test on 10/4 (tomorrow). When I was not busy at work, my mood was swinging all the time. I felt very optimistic in one moment and very pessimistic in the next moment. It is hard not to know. But the truth is that this is closest I have been to being pregnant. I will try my best to enjoy every moment of it. I've already decided that I will not take a home pregnancy test before the blood draw tomorrow. Also, I am not going to find out the blood result tomorrow. I have to work tomorrow night even if I don't get the positive result. I don't know if I am capable of working if I hear a bad news. So I decided not to find out the result until later. I am going to a lab which has a slow processing time. It will take 24-48hr to process a pregnancy test there so I don't get the result until Tuesday the earliest. Until then, I am treating myself as pregnant. PREGNANT UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE.

I actually woke up very anxious today. I decided to take a long walk to help my mood. During the walk, I passed a playground. I "saw" our child playing there. I know it was just an imagination, but I saw her face (it was a girl). And I swear I felt a light sensation in my belly. I know it is NOT possible to feel anything at this point even if I am pregnant, but I did. I believed it was a sign that I am in fact pregnant. It took away the anxiety completely. I have to thank my child for this. She wants to me to stay positive, and I will.